Soldier's letter

After my grandpa passed away, we all went through his things... letters, photos, memories...While going through some of those letters this weekend, I found this poem from his mom - our great grandma, Clarice. She was married to a preacher, so she was pretty religious and after going through all of her writings, I've discovered she wrote largely in poetry.... May be this is where sissy gets that from? There was some other cool stuff about her trip to Germany just before WWII started and she wrote about Hitler and Mussolini!! Those were cool, but this letter written to my grandpa while off serving in the military made me cry and stuff because I'm all emotional - I can't tell if this is something that would make me cry anyway, or if this is just Stromboli striking again!


A Mother's Council to her son in service
~Clarice Cowart

My son, since boys of your tender age
Fight in air, on sea and on land,
I pray God will give you courage
To do what is at hand.

Some tasks are not exciting
Such as daily menial cares,
But soon you may be fighting
If the enemy come unaware.

Whatever the job you are called to do
Be courageous and do your best;
Uncle Sam has tried to train you
Now prove you can pass the test

But physical courage is not enough
In this awful global strife
We need deep faith when times are tough
Deep faith in the Lord of life.

Some nations teach their men to hate
Their enemies far and near
But we are taught to fight for love
Of all that we hold dear

Never indulge in hate, my son
Even in battles of war.
But fill your heart with the love of God
And the ones you are fighting for.

Be proud, my son, to be Christian
Never let your light grow dim;
For God will bless those who are His
So keep your faith in Him

And if when the battle is raging
And of life you almost despair,
Remember our God is an all God
Who governs earth, sea and air.

Mom pants

Has anyone had the pleasure of watching this SNL clip?



Well, today, I feel like I'm wearing mom pants. They are maternity capri jeans and they're still a little big on me. But that maternity stretchy part that goes all the way up to the boobies makes it feel even more like mom pants. That and the fact that there's no zipper or button doesn't help either. So the main problem today is that the butt pockets FEEL like they've migrated to the outer limits of my butt and my butt feels all wide and flat. BEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP wide load coming through! I did a quick ass check in the bathroom and it doesn't APPEAR to be any larger than usual, but I can pull the pockets on the stretchy jeans closer together which gives me the illusion of having a teenier booty. Which I like - not flat, not wide, but perky and small! It's making me want to run to the gym and do a bunch of butt exercises. I keep getting up off of my chair and lifting my leg behind me like a mini butt exercise. WTF? I'm obsessed today. I'm not sure these pants will make it out of the closet to see another day.

It's a.......

So before I almost passed out on the ultrasound table, we found out that Stromboli is a BOY! Everyone is pretty excited - especially JJ - he just KNEW it was a boy he said. Some people I've spoken with were surprised and even shocked that it wasn't a girl. I did have one person give CLEAR disappointment that it was not a girl, but she'll get over it.

Shortly after we found out what it was, I almost passed out. It didn't seem to phase the ultrasound lady - she just told me to roll over onto my left side and breathe and she kept on ultrasounding! I don't know if it was laying on my back a long time, the INCREDIBLE need to pee, or finding out there's a little weewee in my belly that set me off. May be a combo of the 3.

Good thing I had the parents in town to calm my nerves with a delish Italian dinner immediately following.

Baby Baby Baby

It's the only thing on my mind! I'm trying to think of other things, but it's hard. I spent the whole weekend doing baby things. Getting maternity clothes (thanks mom) getting walked through strollers, bottles, passifiers, hearing diaper talk, and now today is D-Day - we find out if Stromboli is a boy or a girl. Can anyone remind me of why I scheduled this appointment for the very end of the day?

I'm so nervous and I don't even know why!!!!!!!! It's not SCARY to find out! JJDVV is all excited......why was I having nightmares? They didn't even have anything to do with finding out the sex. My mom was trying to sabotage my pregnancy and she took me off to a foreign country and drugged me up and sissy was there, but she was all brainwashed so I had to kidnap her once my drugs wore off and I got us on a city bus (wtf?!) and mom was chasing us. It was such a mess and when I woke up, I couldn't fall back to sleep.

I finally fell back to sleep, the alarm went off once and I didn't hear it. It went off again and it was time to get up. I didn't hear the alarm again, so JJ woke me up all nicey-pants style rubbing my arm and back and saying "it's time to get up baby". and I threw a mini tantrum about not wanting to get up, but I did anyway and now I'm sleepy.

But I get to find out what Stromboli is and I get to go to a yummy, fancy dinner

Blondes have more fun!

Ever since highschool... I dunno.. 10th grade? I've been adjusting my hair. It began innocently enough with just a few highlights... then a few more and more and more and by the time I moved (back) to California, I decided I might as well go full tilt boogie (as MV says) as a blonde. Go big or go home. Ever since then, I become slightly depressed and a little irritable when those pesky roots show themselves. I used to waste my time coloring my brows too, but bah - who needs that?! I even went through this fantastic phase where I colored the tips of my hair purple! It was fabulous, people! FABU!!!!!! Notsomuch according to plain Jane mommy, but she colors her hairs too so I don't care that she didn't love it like I did.

Ahhhhhhhh those were the days - I wish I still had a job where I could do crazy things with my hair..or may be I just wish I still had a little crazy left in me that WANTED to get crazy with my hair. Now I just want to be glamerous. A glamerous bounty hunter. Anywayyyyyy

It never ceases to stun me when someone points out that I'm a "bottle blonde"! My cousin who spend the night with her 3 lovely daughters (2 of which are sickeningly perfect little toeheads) decided to point out to me that I PAY for my hair color! DUH you biatch!!! I can't WAIT for the days that I get to go in and have the feeling of self assurance and glamour squirted onto my head, put under the dryer, and blown dry. So what if I feel like I might be going bald from too much bleach - just a pesky little side effect that my favorite hair girl (who better never quit her job) assures me is NOTHING!!!!! Why do people point that shit out!? My mom does it - mostly in front of other people - like they can't tell or something. I don't give a shit if people know I'm not a natural blonde. I used to be when I was young. I was tan and blond and a perfect little beach baby. So everyone who likes to point out that I'm not "naturally blond" anymore can SUCK IT!

May be sister can find a picture of me in my youth to prove that I was blonde for real at one point. What's meant to be is meant to be. I'm just helping out what should have been natural in the first place. *cue brother and sissy making some joke right now about how I ACT blonde so I might as well have blond hair to match.

To stay or not to stay

So, starting today, I will have house guests for 3 nights. Not bad... I just like to get a good idea of the "plan" and I'm notsomuch strict on WHAT happens, I just like to know - WHEN someone is coming over and if there are any specific plans happening - like dinners, pedicures, breakfast... the important stuff!

So, the last weekend in July, my crazy aunt and my sassy grandma came for a weekend visit that was really nice because they washed windows and installed fans and all sorts of helpful stuff like that. They also asked me if my cousin (who is in town from Illinois) and her 3 cute daughters could spend the 6th, 7th, & 8th of August with us. No problemo - EXCEPT that mom and Frank the Tank will be coming to stay with us August 7th & 8th. So without ever having spoken to my cousin who needs a place to rest her head (later to be found out that she will also be bringing her 6 month old puppy - which I'm actually excited about), this morning, the 6th, I'm trying to find out WHEN said cousin, 3 daughters, and puppy will get to the house. I have to arrange her dog meeting our dogs (that innocent looking Sasha is fierce with new dogs). After stalking a few people, I got my answer.

Then this afternoon, Frank the Tank emails me something about a cocktail evening change which normally I'd be interested in, but since I can't drink, I couldn't possibly care less and thus, the email confused me. I guess they're going somewhere on one of the nights they're supposed to stay with me?

WHATEVES people - I don't even care anymore. I will arrange my naps, meals, and love life around the few empty moments we'll have this weekend and as long as people have somewhere to sleep, I just don't even care anymore

I'm more excited to find out about Stromboli on Monday. Boring post, but, I had to get it off my chest.

Immigration

So today while Stromboli's daddy and I were lunching away, I saw 2 of my field employees pulling out of the driveway in a truck. One of them JUMPED out and started hauling ass down the alley - my dad said "WTF????????? Who was that!?" and I said "it was Benny. I think he's runng from INS" and JJDVV, dad, and I all had a good laugh because I'm so funny like that.

Upon further thought, I decided I'm going to go work for the INS. I know just where to look for those illegal dudes and dudettes. So I quickly detailed my plan to sissy. I'll go work for them first off because they must have crazy good job security! Secondly, it's a government job. HELLO DUDES & DUDETTES!!!!!!!!! that means like 12 paid holidays a year, 3 weeks vacation and 2 weeks of sick or personal days and I'm no math wiz but that's already 2 weeks more vacay than I get now, 2 weeks more of personal/sick days, and 7 more holidays than I get now (more if you count holidays that fall on the weekend, but I digress).

When the INS sees what a valuable employee I am, I will immediatly insist on a special outfit - this outfit cannot and will not be black - although black is my favorite and most sexy color, it gets hotter than haites (where is that anyway?!) where those aliens hang out doing constructions and gardening and probably in the fast food kitchens. I'd have to go get fast food and act like I'm really going to order - may be acutally order and eat just to "observe" and then the government would have to pay for my lunch because it would be "surveillance" or something. They don't chill out at the beach all day, you know!....I mean - I'd definitely have to spend some time at the beach during the day in the summer just to see if anyone is there... just to cover my ass, you know?

I'd also insist on some special sunglasses - I'd definitely suggest that my Chanel sunglasses that I can't find anymore, but are pictured in brown here (NOT NEARLY as cute as the black frames with the green lenses... again, I digress)be part of my new uniform



Anyway, once my uniform is all put together and I have a snazzy title, I'll go out there like Beth on Dog the Bounty Hunter (because I have blond hair and big boobs) and bust some alien ass!

Sister suggested this outfit, but it's not really condusive to foot pursuits which is another reason I'd like this job - it would hopefully end my need to go to the gym on a daily basis - I could just get my cardio in chasing aliens all day!