Friday, May 29, 2009

zzzzzzzzzzzz

Let me give you a recap of my very exciting day

Alarm goes off. Hubby says so nicely: Babe? Do you want to shower today?
Wowo: no
Hubby: really?
Wowo: no
Hubby: Babe? if you need to shower you should probably get up now
Wowo: NO
silence
Wowo: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr I don't wanna get uuuupppp!!!!!!!!!!! ok fine!

Drive to work was successful - no road rage from hubby and we were running on time for once!
7:16 arrive to work. I realize I forgot my keys to the office. Which wouldn't normally be a problem except that MV & DL are out of town and therefore I have no access to any extra keys.
7:18 - throw a little tantrum then decide to drive all of the effing way home to retrieve keys
7:19 - am informed by hubby that I have to get gas first
8:02 - arrive at the house. Search for keys. Find keys. Get kissed to death by babies (dogs) and am wracked with guilt for abandoning them again
8:20 arrive back to the office
8:20 - 11:20 facebook, email, make a few copies
11:20-12:20 eat lunch
12:20 - 4:30 paint nails, watch season 3 of Arrested Development, pretend to work whenever someone comes near my office, read a little, facebook, email, make grocery list.

Now I finally get to shut down the evil work machine and head home - to mail my friends 1 week late birthday gift and pick up food for a BBQ tonight where I will meet hubby's new school friend and promptly show him what an old loser I am by neeing to go to bed by 10.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Invisibility Cloak

I don't want to make this all about being preggo, but I have to say. Sister and I were talking today about this bitch of a cousin of ours has this uncanny ability to make her facebook page disappear and reappear - she isn't deleting her account because she disappeared for a few weeks and then on Tuesday, voila! There she was! I was still her friend (sister wasn't - no explaination necessary - kidding sissy - just kidding) and so was my hubby, but she didn't request us, so how the FUCK did she do that?!?!?! And today? POOF - gone again. Which lead me to wonder if this bitch somehow came across an invisibility cloak or some shit. This led me to wonder what it would be like to have one of my own.

Right now, the only thing I would want to do with my invisibility cloak is to put it on and take a big, fat nap. The office doesn't provide perfect napping conditions, but that's ok. I'm desperate.

Later, I'd take my invisibility cloak to go hop on a plane to MN to go get Savoy pizza with my baby brother who is suffering from a gnarley hangover from having his "first" night drinking on his 21st birthday.

There's all sorts of sneaky shit I'd like to do with an invisibility cloak, but right now the only thing my mind is obsessing over is a fucking nap. That and still wondering how my poor baby, Daisy, got a gash on her widdle neck.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Growing up is hard to do...

In response to my Gent's (gawd I hate that I have to refer to him as that right now - mostly because he WANTS it soooooo badly) blog yesterday, I have to say - reflecting on the past to see what you liked and what you didn't about growing up is a good topic.

What did I like? I liked that my mom baked with us.... a lot. I did not like that 9 times out of 10, the baking came with a sex talk. Note to self - no sex talk while baking (with the kids anyway - sex talk with my gent over flour and eggs could be fun, I digress)

I did not like that I was not "allowed" to get anything less than an "A"! WTF?! And you ask, what happened when you got less than an A, Wowo? Well, I had to listen to the mother drone on and on and on and on about how I'm better than that, I would get threatened with punishment (I have successfully blocked out if any of the punishments came to fruition) (fruition is a big word for me early in the morning and may be a result of the constant nagging for A's) Let's just say the report card "talks" were ANNOYING!!! and a little ridiculous too! Sister didn't have that requirement! Neither did brother! WTF did I do to deserve that? Anyhoo... what else did I like? I liked that I got a shiny, red 10-speed Schwinn (even though I REALLY wanted the dusty rose color) for my first straight A report card.

Hmm what else did I like? All in all I guess I'd say my upbringing was pretty good. No spankings...except the one time dad pulled me out of the station wagon by one arm and swatted my ass. I didn't do anything! I just put the car into reverse and it started going backwards....what did you expect when leaving a 3 year old in the car alone?!?! And the one time mom TRIED to get my ass with a brush but I was like 15 and jumped back and laughed at her for missing me. What a bitch I am... I mean WAS - what a bitch I WAS.

Lastly - my mom tells me I didn't really like time-outs on the stairs. I sat there like I should, but I yelled at her that I was going to tell Santa and he wouldn't bring her any presents...EVER AGAIN. I think that mission was accomplished.

I guess we'll see after this afternoon if I'll have to continue pondering shit like this....

Monday, May 18, 2009

Anxiety!

I've always been an anxious person - not always outwardly but always in my brain! anxiety is vicious! I have major anxiety about my upcoming ultrasound. But my mantra is...all is good.. all is fine... this baby is going to have a crazy heartbeat when we go in on Friday. I'm glad sissy will be in town that day.




P.S. being sober 24/7 is not cool. It's only ok because of the blueberry inside of me. I can't wait until month 8 when I can have that one glass of wine. mmmmmm wine mmmmmmm

Friday, May 15, 2009

I love to make Sister cry

HA! I know that sounds evil, but today it was a good cry. I told sissy that she's going to be an Auntie. Auntie OOh-hooo (pronounced oooh-WHO - not oooh-HO)

That being said. I've heard reference to babies eating the brain but is it possible to start at 2 months? I'm not going to get WAY too excited yet because I want to wait until the end of June when my first 3 months is up, however, today I am totally ill with morning sickness so I feel it's safe to say everything is a-ok. Keep the fingers crossed

Monday, May 11, 2009

An old video



Since baseball season is upon us, I'd like to introduce you to JJ's godson. One of the cutest little boys ever made.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Gas Stations; a place for weirdos? Or simply to fill up?

So I planned on writing today about the guy I saw at the gas station with JJ yesterday after work....

This guy -



WTF is that guy doing? He was dicking around while sitting in his trunk for about 5 minutes! Dunno what he was doing. It was cinco de mayo - may be he was securing some Tecate in the trunk so it wouldn't shake around? Making it cozy so he could stop off on the side of the road with his lovah for some cinco de mayo celebrating? I don't know. I just stared at him trying to figure out what the HELL he was doing in there!!! Any thoughts??


On another note - I thought this guy was a little weird, but he definitely doesn't come close to Dolce's gas station encounter. I guess I should consider myself lucky.


Finally, I have to tell you I'm on the lookout for the elusive "SXCMAMI" - yes, sexy Mommie.. JJ and I had the pleasure of driving past SXCMAMI 5 days in a row and both of us were so astounded that neither one of us had the brains to take a picture to share. When we came to and thought "we must show SXCMAMI in her natural habitat to the world", she went into hiding - never to be seen again. SXCMAMI was not sexy. Not to us at least. She was probably a good 400 pounds and had crazy giant black hair, and as JJ likes to say - a next that if you cut it, gravy would come out instead of blood - ICK - ICK ICK ICK. I will stay dedicated to finding SXCMAMI to share with the world.