To stay or not to stay

So, starting today, I will have house guests for 3 nights. Not bad... I just like to get a good idea of the "plan" and I'm notsomuch strict on WHAT happens, I just like to know - WHEN someone is coming over and if there are any specific plans happening - like dinners, pedicures, breakfast... the important stuff!

So, the last weekend in July, my crazy aunt and my sassy grandma came for a weekend visit that was really nice because they washed windows and installed fans and all sorts of helpful stuff like that. They also asked me if my cousin (who is in town from Illinois) and her 3 cute daughters could spend the 6th, 7th, & 8th of August with us. No problemo - EXCEPT that mom and Frank the Tank will be coming to stay with us August 7th & 8th. So without ever having spoken to my cousin who needs a place to rest her head (later to be found out that she will also be bringing her 6 month old puppy - which I'm actually excited about), this morning, the 6th, I'm trying to find out WHEN said cousin, 3 daughters, and puppy will get to the house. I have to arrange her dog meeting our dogs (that innocent looking Sasha is fierce with new dogs). After stalking a few people, I got my answer.

Then this afternoon, Frank the Tank emails me something about a cocktail evening change which normally I'd be interested in, but since I can't drink, I couldn't possibly care less and thus, the email confused me. I guess they're going somewhere on one of the nights they're supposed to stay with me?

WHATEVES people - I don't even care anymore. I will arrange my naps, meals, and love life around the few empty moments we'll have this weekend and as long as people have somewhere to sleep, I just don't even care anymore

I'm more excited to find out about Stromboli on Monday. Boring post, but, I had to get it off my chest.

Immigration

So today while Stromboli's daddy and I were lunching away, I saw 2 of my field employees pulling out of the driveway in a truck. One of them JUMPED out and started hauling ass down the alley - my dad said "WTF????????? Who was that!?" and I said "it was Benny. I think he's runng from INS" and JJDVV, dad, and I all had a good laugh because I'm so funny like that.

Upon further thought, I decided I'm going to go work for the INS. I know just where to look for those illegal dudes and dudettes. So I quickly detailed my plan to sissy. I'll go work for them first off because they must have crazy good job security! Secondly, it's a government job. HELLO DUDES & DUDETTES!!!!!!!!! that means like 12 paid holidays a year, 3 weeks vacation and 2 weeks of sick or personal days and I'm no math wiz but that's already 2 weeks more vacay than I get now, 2 weeks more of personal/sick days, and 7 more holidays than I get now (more if you count holidays that fall on the weekend, but I digress).

When the INS sees what a valuable employee I am, I will immediatly insist on a special outfit - this outfit cannot and will not be black - although black is my favorite and most sexy color, it gets hotter than haites (where is that anyway?!) where those aliens hang out doing constructions and gardening and probably in the fast food kitchens. I'd have to go get fast food and act like I'm really going to order - may be acutally order and eat just to "observe" and then the government would have to pay for my lunch because it would be "surveillance" or something. They don't chill out at the beach all day, you know!....I mean - I'd definitely have to spend some time at the beach during the day in the summer just to see if anyone is there... just to cover my ass, you know?

I'd also insist on some special sunglasses - I'd definitely suggest that my Chanel sunglasses that I can't find anymore, but are pictured in brown here (NOT NEARLY as cute as the black frames with the green lenses... again, I digress)be part of my new uniform



Anyway, once my uniform is all put together and I have a snazzy title, I'll go out there like Beth on Dog the Bounty Hunter (because I have blond hair and big boobs) and bust some alien ass!

Sister suggested this outfit, but it's not really condusive to foot pursuits which is another reason I'd like this job - it would hopefully end my need to go to the gym on a daily basis - I could just get my cardio in chasing aliens all day!

Stromboli

Hello my peepaleeps. Stromboli is making me feel ill this week! I feel nauseaus 24/7 and I can't get enough sleep! The weather is so nice and I want to be outside. I think being outside with the fresh air and the birds who sing and the animals who frolic like they do in the Disney videos would make me feel better. May be it would motivate me to go for a walk or for a skip. I need to get out of this florescent hell hole I sit in every day to get some fresh air. Is there a work release for something like that? Can I get a doctor's note? I bet I could, but I don't get paid to not work, so I better come up with another plan........ any ideas??

Get in shape girl!

So - the elusive pregnant lady DOES exist! The one who doesn't get crazy body issues, who can stay out with friends while they drink, the one who doesn't get cankles! Dolce is my idol!

I oficially end the first trimester next week and so far so good - I felt like a fatass before my stromboli was inside me, so I'm doing what I do every 3-6 months when NOT pregnant. I'm "getting back on the wagon". Last night I went to the market and stocked up on fruits, veggies, fish, and all sorts of other healthy shit. I refrained from buying the bestestfoodever English Muffin Bread and bought a loaf of whole wheat instead for hubby's sammies. This morning I made scrambled eggs with spinach. Spinach people! Then for a snack I had a nectarine. I'm also headed to the gym tonight because I'm bound and freaking determined to be as in shape as I possibly can be during the next 6 months. I'm sad because I was a lazyfatass for the first 3 months but I was TIREEEEDDDDDD. My other pregnancy resolution is not to be a whiny biatch. So far so good. Not a clean record, but not bad either. I've also been decent about going to bars and out to parties while other people drink. I have a wedding to go to next weekend so hopefully being sober will allow me to witness some good shenegans to share!!!

No Putimer?!

Well, the days of swiping some unsuspecting neighbors' internet are over. JJ informed me (after my old lady afternoon snooze) on Wednesday that we no longer have free internet. Why must all good things come to an end? I'm a good person! Why can't I have free internet? WTF am I supposed to do without a putimer?! I gave my blackberry to JJ so that we could save money (barf) and we shut off our home phone foreva ago because who uses a land line anymore? seriously. who? As a sidenote, I have heard that you have to have a land line once you have a kid in school - I think that even means like pre-school, so that means I only have another 2 years of sticking it to the man and saying EFF YOU - I don't need no stinkin land line! But - I'm very sad because I might have to just suck it and get it so I can have internet on the weekends. During the week I can get away with having access all day at work while I'm busy not working which allows me to have free time at night to watch my brainless tv shows. Seriously brainless - last night for example while JJ was out having fun boozing watching the Laker game, I watched the season premier of Kendra and Denise Richards. I also watched the season premier of Bridezilla and 2 episodes of Gene Simmon's reality show. All in all it took up a good 5 hours of my night.

Tonight we're going to this new restaurant. Well... new to us. It's called Mahe and it's SO perfect because it's walking distance and you can eat a ton of sushi and get totally shitfaced and not have to worry about driving home. I take that back. It's almost perfect. Now that I'm "with child" (sorry sissy) it's no longer perfect. It's just probably going to be yummy. I can't eat any sashimi, I can't have tuna, I can't have mahi mahi, I can't have swordfish... I can only eat cooked rolls and drink pelligrino or some virgin drink which I never like drinking because it just reminds me I'm drinking something that would normally be fun but right now it's not. I digress. Tonight we'll DRIVE to Mahe with our friends who found a babysitter, I'll eat a few rolls, and I'll hope that everyone wants to get home and into bed before midnight. wooo wooo I'm a party and a half

I want to go home

Do you think this note from sissy would be an acceptable note to get out of work?
I do.... I might give it a try because I REALLY don't want to be at work today!

Yes, you look fierce

So, one thing I actually like about my job is my "office". I sit in the very front of the office so I would actually act as a receptionist even though I do SO much more. Not that anything is wrong with being a receptionist but whateverthatsnotmypoint. I work in the glass business. Since I work in the front of the office, I am surrounded on 3 sides by windows which is nice. My office is only one level, so I'm eye to eye with the sidewalk. The windows in my office are tinted so that I don't get my retinas burned out when it's nice and sunny, but from the outside, the windows appear almost as mirrors - if you look closely, you can see inside, but if you're not thinking about anything else but checking out your hair, you don't think about the people WATCHING you while you scope yourself out. Just now I saw a dude. He wasn't a boy, but definitely wasn't a man. This dude came strutting down the street this fine morning at 8:20am with his Red Bull and his punky black hair and his fabulous black guyliner and decided to check himself out in my "window" He struck a pose, touched his nipples, seemed satisfied, and moved on. How fierce. This really seemed to reassure himself that he had it goin on (whatever it was that he wanted goin on). May be I'll start striking a pose for myself in the mirror before I leave for work. Should be sexy with my evergrowing belly.