An old video

Since baseball season is upon us, I'd like to introduce you to JJ's godson. One of the cutest little boys ever made.

Gas Stations; a place for weirdos? Or simply to fill up?

So I planned on writing today about the guy I saw at the gas station with JJ yesterday after work....

This guy -



WTF is that guy doing? He was dicking around while sitting in his trunk for about 5 minutes! Dunno what he was doing. It was cinco de mayo - may be he was securing some Tecate in the trunk so it wouldn't shake around? Making it cozy so he could stop off on the side of the road with his lovah for some cinco de mayo celebrating? I don't know. I just stared at him trying to figure out what the HELL he was doing in there!!! Any thoughts??


On another note - I thought this guy was a little weird, but he definitely doesn't come close to Dolce's gas station encounter. I guess I should consider myself lucky.


Finally, I have to tell you I'm on the lookout for the elusive "SXCMAMI" - yes, sexy Mommie.. JJ and I had the pleasure of driving past SXCMAMI 5 days in a row and both of us were so astounded that neither one of us had the brains to take a picture to share. When we came to and thought "we must show SXCMAMI in her natural habitat to the world", she went into hiding - never to be seen again. SXCMAMI was not sexy. Not to us at least. She was probably a good 400 pounds and had crazy giant black hair, and as JJ likes to say - a next that if you cut it, gravy would come out instead of blood - ICK - ICK ICK ICK. I will stay dedicated to finding SXCMAMI to share with the world.

I've got nothing to do tonight

That title makes me old. It proves to myself that I'm getting old. I have so many examples of late that are proof of getting to the golden years.



I'm only 30! I feel like such a LOSER! I need to young up my life again. Hopefully when sissy comes out, I can rejeuvinate my life with some binge drinking. Being old does have its occasional perks. I can binge drink for a few days in a row - drink all night, wake up, feel like shit, drink the shit off of you until you feel good enough to drink again!! ...with a nap and a burger in between of course.... not like sissy, who when she comes to visit has the worst hangovers of her life and can't operate her body the 2nd day......... Anyhooooo...... let me explain how I know I'm not a young whippersnapper anymore



1. My old college bff wrote to me today "Happy Freakin Friday!!!" and I said thank the LORD it's Friday! I can have a whole weekend off and the best part? I have nothing to do tonight - just hearing those words sounded like the sweet voices of angels singing!! llaaaaaa! lalalaleeelaaa!!!!!!!!!! nothing to dooooo!!! laalalaaaa!!!! There was a time, not too long ago, that I would have started hoping that around 3:00 on a Friday afternoon, I would hear about where the party is going to be or think about how I'd need to hurry up, get home, nap, wake up about 7 or 8, shower, then head out to the bars. Notosmuch anymore....Now I can't wait to get home, see my babies, plop my giant fat ass on the couch and catch up on Tivo with my hubby. And be in bed before midnight. So that I can wake up for my hair appointment tomorrow.



2. I recently built a brick wall. With hubby of course. But we demo-ed the existing lame ass looking rocks that were supposed to resemble a wall? and we pulled out a GIANT tree - a cypress- that was TALLER than the house! No shit!! I'm totally serious! And we don't have crazy lumberjack tools. We also had to pull out a big fat bush. Good thing I had Miss Daisy the digging fool to help me out with the hard stuff

I dont' have a picture of the "before" but here's a picture of the "after" - I felt so effing proud of myself and so grown up doing that shit. Lame. I even was excited for a hot second about pulling weeds for the first time to complete a home improvement project (if only this were our real permanent home waaaaaaaaaaaa) (and no - I never had to pull weeds before. I'm a lucky biatch. and even though I got excited about pulling them - I hate it now). We did a damn good job for our first brick wall project! Hopefully when we get our very own casa, we'll be able to do something even more professional!

3. My little brother, HPC, lives in MN. There is a 2 hour time difference. He called me the other night at 9:30 my time. 11:30 his time. At night. I was already asleep. He was confused for a minute - he thought he called sissy since she also lives in MN and that would explain why his sister would already be asleep on a week night since it was 11:30, but no - he called his CA sister and I was asleep. Fast asleep. At 9:30. I felt so old. He called me that Saturday during my righteous party (well at the beginning of my righteous party) to see if I was asleep already or napping. It was 3:30 in the afternoon. I yelled that I wasn't sleeping! I was throwing a righteous party! Then he said he'd be sure not to call 3 hours later since he was sure I'd be getting ready for bed. He also FB-ed me wondering if I get the senior discount at McDonalds. Whatever! That little prick doesn't have to wake up at 5:30 to get ready for work! ...........I guess sometimes he does - but he's still at that age that he can party till 2 and get up at 5:30 to be at work at 6! WTF?!?!

I know I have more examples, but my alseimer's brain isn't able to think of any right now. All I can think about is how glad I am that I have no plans for tonight and no plans for tomorrow OR tomorrow night except to get my hairs did on Saturday morning. Incidentally, my hair appointment is at 9am and it's a 30 minute drive, so I'll be fresh as a daisy with no hangover on my way in.

Many hats of my kids

So upon reading Crissy's page and seeing Alice in all of her Easter eared splendor, I decided I should let Daisy and Sasha promote their many hats as well. I'm totally sure they're proud to show their different lids and not embarrassed like some people would suggest!

Here is Daisy on Halloween

Here is Sasha on Halloween

Daisy at Christmas


Sashie at Christmas








Sashie on New Years - Daisy isn't even 2 years old - she wasn't able to make it to midnight like Sasha (Sasha has practice - she's 9)

I've only had Daisy since October of '07 so, the year of 08 was the year of torture for these two. We adopted Sasha full time in January 2008 (we were able to keep her part time during the late part of '07) from what we consider pretty bad conditions and have provided her with much love and attention and in exchange for that love, she has agreed to be subjected to wearing hats during the holidays - she's a sport. So - dudes and dudettes, I introduce you to my children - Sasha and Daisy.

Party Time

From what I remember (piecing together foggy memories), Saturday was good times!

I feel sad that ML's WOW lover didn't show up to the party because I was able to stay up till midnight! wooop wooop! People started arriving at 2:45 for the 3:00 start time. My first guest was RPP - she lives in LA so it's a little commute for her to come over (me living at the beach in Orange County and all). She brought an old friend of hers who is so sweet and they helped me finish getting the important things ready (putting the beer in the tubs).

Then MF (music factory which consists of 2 girls whose names begin with the letter "C" and one of them has a fiance...none of them travel apart so they became C & C Music Factory then just MF - now you're caught up to speed - welcome) arrived and the awkwardness began. I'm really going to have to do a whole posting with an explaination of MF so you can get the full picture. MF isn't fun to party with. at. all. BUT they are friends of ML from way back so they got an evite (which they checked every single day without responding until finally rsvp-ing 2 days prior to the party - I digress) It was RPP, MF, RPP's friend, and ML and me.......a-w-k-w-a-r-d

Not long after, people started coming in and the food arrived (Chronic Taco! yummm - I like to call it Chronic Tizzy though) then, the boy next door came over with his friend (both age 14) and brought the electric guitar and the sax and they started jamming! They were surprisingly AWESOME! So cute and they knew some good songs - when they would break, ML would put the tunes back on the radio. ok, so after we sang happy birthday....wait - just before we sang Happy Bday - I was feeling a little buzzed....like the kind of buzzed that I thought - may be I should slow down JUST a little?? I was walking some people out whom I don't know really at all - it was our first meeting (ML's new work friends) and that is the point I felt I should slow down. So I walked in the kitched to get some water (we didn't need to keep that shit outside in buckets - not important enough) when I was stopped by a big circle of ML & his friends starting tequila shots - so I forgot about the water and substituted tequila. I vaguely remember my parents leaving.... MV hasn't said anything to me about being embarrassing so either they were just as drunk or I wasn't bad yet. Not sure what time people started dribbling out, but at some point we were down from about 35 people to 15 and the tequlia shots were flowing.

It came to my attention that we had gone through a whole bottle of $$ tequila so I thought there was no better idea than to have someone's little brother drive me to the store to spend$45 on another bottle! When I woke up in the morning it was half gone so at least that wasn't money wasted. Money that WAS wasted? I let Josh's Swedish girlfriend talk me into going to buy cigarettes! WTF was I thinking? First of all, I've quit that shit - it's disgusting (it didn't used to be, but it is now!) and 2nd of all - when drinking, smoking helps promote hangovers and 3rdly - I don't know about anywhere else, but here in CA, smokes are up to $7 a pack!!

While I was brushing my teeth in the morning, I had a few flashes. Did someone go get hamburgers at like 11? I couldn't tell if that was a dream or real so I was thinking about it really hard when I remembered taking a bite into a pickle and making the statement loud and clear to everyone that I DO NOT like pickles and why didn't someone warn me those viscious little bitches were in my burger?! I also started remembering Josh and his shiner! Were those boys wrestling? Yes - yes they were and ML showed everyone just how old he is when he ordered them out of the house if they are going to wrestle - god forbid someone hit his precious tv (it was his first major purchase aside from the condo). This is when the shiner occured - I guess Wade knocked Josh's face into the concrete and they both thought it was SOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNIE!!! Someone brought over a firepit and that was awesome since it gets cold at the beach at night (waa waaa - what a whiner!) What was NOT awesome was waking up in the morning to get juice to detatch my tongue from the roof of my mouth with hair in my face smelling of bonfire. Gross- the snippets of memories of the night before began at that moment when I closed my eyes and groaned while I remembered showing off some dance moves around the fire pit.

No one puked, only one injury, and no drunk crying - this all contributed to a successful party. Us old fogies were recovering all day on Easter (ML is older and fogier than me though because he pussed out and had to nap!) I don't know if I'm more dope than before, but part of me thinks that I am and that's half the battle. Mission accomplished

I need to be more dope

On our way into work this morning, ML and I were listening to the entertainment portion of the morning show (really the only part I like...) and there was an entire segment on Kanye West and how he says he's so dope and needs to work on his ego because it's out of control. It got me thinking - why is it that some people have the ego of a giant and think they are theeee sheeeet and some of us (me) don't have much of an ego at all?

I have come to the conclusion that this is something I need to start working on - being more dope. I feel like a total fool saying that, but whatever. During my contemplation of becoming more dope, I've been picturing myself with a bigger ego and have come to the realization that there is a fine line with being totally dope and being a total douche. For example - me having to TELL people that I'm dope makes me a douche (a la Kanye West).

So begins my quest to become dope. First thing on my list? Throw a righteous party tomorrow.

I'll let you know how that goes on Monday...........should be interesting with ML's new classmate that he's invited whose favorite pasttimes include playing World of Warcraft (or WOW as he calls it and then is completely SHOCKED when NO ONE knows what in the FUCK he is talking about). ML declared to me that he is going to show this kid how to party which should be another interesting scene seeing as though ML and I can barely stay up past 9:00 these days.

To be continued.....

You speee Chinee?

So... this may be weird, but the more people I admit this to, the more people do the same thing.

I have 2 dogs Daisy and Sasha. Daisy is a Minature Pinscer and Sasha is a lab mix (not sure what she's mixed with but she looks like a small lab). Daisy and Sasha have voices. Daisy talks like a black girl formerly from the hood and Sasha talks like a surfer girl. Little does anyone know - they talk to each other all day long
Daisy "Sup my biiitchesssssss????"
Sasha "What's happenin dudes?"
Daisy "What up bitch? Gimme my toy! That ain't yours!"
Sasha "Chill out little dudette! You can toads have it when I'm done"
Stuff like that.

Well, I admitted this to my friend RPP and she told me that her 2 dogs have voices too. Her first dog is Champ. Champ was found in a dirty parking lot in downtown LA and he's a German Shepard - appears to be full blooded but we'll never be sure. He talks in a black voice too so he and Daisy are like total bff's. Although he's very large, he talks in a really high voice. Coco is a pit bull mix and her eyes are not round - they are a little more oblong (horizontally) and she has lines that look like she's got permanent eyeliner (picture Cleopatra) and Coco speaks Engrish http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engrish

I had no clue until I read Crissy's blog that so many people speak Engrish! ML told me that Coco was ROR a while back and I had no clue wtf he was talking about (not too unusual) and he informed me that ROR is how Coco LOL! Raughing out roud! HAHA! So funny to me. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how I speak about the dirty foreign people (a la Crissy) with my other friend Muff. Short for Muffin - not the other Muff.

We talk to each other in nail salon lingo and to demonstrate, I'd like to share with you some actual conversations I've had in the nail salon. NL will be the nail lady - or should I call her the Nail Rady? Ya - that's better - NR will be the nail lady
NR: Hiiieeee - How you do? What you want?
me: Um - I'd like a mani and a pedi
NR: OK! you pii coror and wait 10 mineees -ok??
me: ok.
NR: Ok- you sii here ok? ooohhh - I ruh your jean! Where you buy?
me: I got these at Express
NR: Ohhh - they maaay you rook so sexxxy!

This conversation happened just after I got engaged
NR: Your ling so plettie - you get engage?
me: yes! a few weeks ago in Mexico
NR: oooohhhh.... I ruh it... can I try on?
me: huh?
NR: can I try on?
me: what?? umm? huh?
NR: Pree?
me: um - well, I don't really want to take it off. I heard it's bad luck (totally not true -I'm just too big of a pussy to tell her to get effing REAL!)
NR: oh
total silence for the rest of the session (which was nice) until
NR: you waaan flowah?
me: no thanks